i barfeds in our rink
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I licked your asshole in confidence.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
