The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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