she was so not down for the gang bang
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
