I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
NoShamevember. You game?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I would ride that face into the sunset
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
