Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just puked most of my soul out..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
