I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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