I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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