Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
