i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
