Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
