It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
