So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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