Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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