ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
