Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
