I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
