Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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