Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
