Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
