chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
