I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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