Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
