What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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