I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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