on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize