we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I see more hoeing in ur future
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
