Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
