it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
