i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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