I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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