Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
