yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
