so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
