I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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