When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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