A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
