Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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