is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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