Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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