D3 body, D1 cock
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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