no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
