is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
