she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and i looked up. we had an audience...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
