Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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