You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
