Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
