don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
