you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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