god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
