Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
