Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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