I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
