People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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