Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
