so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she looked like the before picture.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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