Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
