I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
