Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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