she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
