Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
