I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
