Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
