Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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