please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
